The Real World Hollywood - Joey

This is the first season I've actually attempted to follow. If you haven't seen it yet, Joey is this meat head character that reminds me of the "My New Haircut" type. Early on, there are clips where he is about to admit a problem, but nothing really comes out. I was hoping it would be him admitting using steroids, but it was WAY better...

Joey has a drinking problem.

Probably the best line I've ever heard is "I WAS NOT LIKE THIS BEFORE I MOVED INTO THIS HOUSE!" Unfortunately, I cannot find it on youtube, but the clip posted gives you a taste of what he's like. The arm-wrestling clip, also on the tube, shows why I thought he was a roider. RAAAGE.

Thoughts, anyone? I predict Joey gets arrested when he gets in a fight outside of a club.

Hey Father John, how are ya??? (8)

Here he is...the man...the myth...the priest.

A day of "I can't remember" Goodness

For a couple weeks all that has been on my mind is a keg of blue moon. Better yet, a keg of blue moon at the pool. So thats just what we did. Around 1pm we were carrying a keg across the pool grounds in front of approx 20 onlookers, wondering who these college kids thought they were. Ten minutes later I was wheeling the kegerator out of the same door, loading her up, and plugging her in.

About 30 minutes later and 6-8 cups full of foam, we were poolside sipping the freshest brews with quality orange slices providing the necessary citrus. Every person that inquired, whether poolside stranger, or buddy from class, was in complete astonishment that we had a keg of blue moon, and that it was chilling in a fridge with freshly sliced O's. A little while later the office staff was congratulating us on being so collegiate.

By 4pm the entire crowd at the pool was in on the fun. Most of us were working on our 6th, 7th brews, however the constant fillup without the empties makes it near imposs to keep track of how much you've downed. This is where it gets interesting. Allow me to stop to give a little explanation...

There are a few groups of people that frequent the pool. One group is a 30 something and his girlfriend, plus relatives that are all from Alaska. They party really hard and always put the most insanely sized pieces of meat on the grill. The second group was new and included tats, piercings, and the work, on top of a gay kid from Peru. I have nothing against gay people, besides the fact that they enjoy cock. This kid didn't even hold back, asking us to go get beers with him, arms around, groping, the whole bit.

Ok. So eventually my friend, lets call him DD for now, gets really pissed off when Peru puts his arm around him and asks him to get a beer.

DD: "What the FUCK is wrong with you? The keg is right there, you've already got
your own beer 5 fuckin times you fuckin faggot."

Peru: "Hey fuck you you
fat blob you don't even knoooow me." (something like that in broken english,
half feminine)

Ryan: "Dude fuckin chill out or we'll whoop your fuckin
ass."

Me: "Listen man...no one here is gay. None of us are going to hook
up with you. We want nothing to do with cock. If you can, call up all your
little girlfriends, tell them I have a 1 inch cock fully erect and I'm looking
to fuck."

At this point Peru gets really annoyed with me because I don't shave my armpits. So I did exactly what he didn't want, and I put it in his face.

I ditched on the gay/tat crew and moved over with Alaska for the remainder of the night. The last thing I remember was bringing in a couple friends from school, and barely being able to see them. Apparently, at 10pm the party moved to our apartment, but by 10:10 I was passed out face down on my bed facing the wrong way.

The keg had 6 beers left in it. None of us ate dinner and all of us were so bombed no one has a clue how everything ended up back in the apartment.

Two days after nearly fighting Peru over hitting on my friends, what happens? Well, I'm at the beach reminding DD how funny it was telling Peru about my small penis and putting my armpit in his face when he WALKS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! What. The. Fuck. Of all the beaches in all of San Diego, he fucking lays down 50 feet from us. Fortunately for us him and his gay friends were a lot more interested in the Brazilians in speedos across the way.

What are the chances, really?

Hey Father John, How are ya??? (7)

So thats pretty much whats been happening here. A few letters made it to the trash can before I could transpose their contents, however the general jist is up.

On top of the exciting priest news, I got completely trashed all day yesterday at the pool, followed by going to the club at 11 and being too drunk to even order a new drink. It continued late into the night when I was telling some LAer to go fuck himself and that I would kill him in a fight.

Today's developments (since I know you all are dying for more):

• Stumble to pool at 1pm to recover from the most insane hangover since New Years 87'.
• Girls pick the chairs immediately next to my pal, Father John, who spends the majority of his day tanning himself until his brown skin is so wrinkled it could provide warmth for a family of black bears. Allow me to explain his attire -- laying pretty spread eagle with a tight blue speedo on. He is a big fan of the one leg bent, other straight, and often wears a shade over his eyes.
• Completely avoid him at all costs, including but not limited to never actually looking at him, and when he sits up or removes the shade, appear to be sleeping.
• 2pm - Finally, he leaves the pool, but not before stopping to speak with the innocent Brazilians who have no clue what he has in store for them.
• 2:02pm - Father John steps onto balcony (which overlooks pool). Note: I have NEVER seen him use his balcony before.
• 2:42pm - Father John is still standing on his balcony, looking down at the pool.
• 2:44pm - Father John walks into his apartment but leaves the door open -- the sun is gone, perfect time for us to make a break for it. Why were we making a break for it? Because if he saw us leave the pool, he would conveniently bump into us in the lobby and say something like "Ohhh wow. Imagine the odds of seeing you here." You get my point.
• 6pm - Ryan and I go to Subway without any sightings -- good news.
• 6:54pm - Ryan and I return to apartment and the elevator door opens. Who's standing in the elevator? You guessed it. The elevator had just returned to the bottom floor from his floor, so you'd guess he would step off and go about his business, right? Ha. I wish. He never leaves the elevator, and in fact rides with us back up to our floor. Wow. Here's how it went:

• Fr.: Hey guys! How are ya?

  R: Good, really busy.

  Fr. to me: Did you go to the beach today?

  Me: No, shark attack so the beaches were closed.

  Fr.: Oh, I meant the pool! I think I saw you down there today!

  Me: Oh, yeah I was down there.

  (Doors opening on our floor)

  Me: Have a good one!

  R: See you later!

  Fr.: OHH!! Did I just ride back up here? I meant to get off in the lobby!
  I'm going to the pool. Take care guys

Really not much you can say after all that. Someone dare me to take a picture of him in his speedo tomorrow. I'm gonna get trashed at the pool-fest, a dare and its a done deal.

Hey Father John, How are ya??? (6)

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During his six day visit to the United States, Pope Benedict XVI met with victims of priest sexual abuse.

Discuss This Story
Read: NBC17's Frank Graff Blogs From Pope's Pilgrimage

Here's the breakdown of the sexual abuse crisis:
Since 1950, over 4,000 priests have been accused of molesting minors in the U.S.
The church has paid out more than $2 billion to abuse victims
The scandal has forced at least six dioceses into bankruptcy

Five victims met with the Pope in the Chapel of the Papal Embassy in Washington D.C.

The meeting consisted of prayer and tears as the Pope listened to the victims.

"They prayed with the Holy Father, who afterwards listened to their personal accounts and offered them words of encouragement and hope," said Papal Spokesman Fr. Federico Lombardi.

Prior to the meeting, the Pope celebrated mass with 45,000 people at Washington Nationals baseball stadium.

During the mass, Pope Benedict spoke about the sex scandal, urging Catholics to help the victims and trust the clergy.


The Pope has a full schedule ahead for the rest of his visit. Today he'll address the United Nations in New York; Saturday he'll hold a mass in St. Patrick's Cathedral, then meet with young Catholics; and on Sunday, the Pope will visit ground zero and say mass at Yankee Stadium.

Hey Father John, How are ya??? (5)

Nothin like a 6pm lolli pop left at your door...

Hey Father John, How are ya??? (4)

Michael, Ryan:

If you are still willing, this is a better idea. I will leave a note on my door each day that I am up & around.

Thanks!

I have a flight to Oakland at 10:15 A.M.

Fr. John

Hey Father John, How are ya??? (3)

To My Dear Adopted Sons (spiritual) Residing at the 721 Hilton:

Just to share with you part of the care pkg I received from the people at St. Margaret Mary Parish in Oakland, CA this past weekend. The Sees Candy is most delicious.

If I can be of help to you in any way while you are here, please don't hesitate to ask me.

I am alive & well.

Father John (I like to be called Fr. John)

Hey Father John, How are ya??? (2)

Ryan, Michael:

On my way to the cathedral St. Joseph mon. morning I asked one of the maintenance girls to place a pkg. at your door. If you did get it, please acknowledge. It takes just a few seconds to dial a phone number. I don't want to knock on your door.

Thank You!

Father John

Hey Father John, How are ya???

Ryan, Michael:

Thank you so much for your responses & after rethinking my request of you I realized it was a little bit much to ask considering your heavy schedule. Sorry about that. However, since I took an interest in you both, (I have been in your position during my college yrs & beyond) many, many yrs. ago) if there is any way I can be of help to you, don't hesitate to ask.

Here is one way I can help - if you're interested. I travel a lot & I have accumulated thousands of miles of request flyer mileage (my balance on United is 850 thousand miles & on Delta - 300 thousand miles). If either of you or both of you need a free trip (domestic) I could designate mileage to you. All I need to know from you is the date you want to leave SD & date of return. Once the ticket is issued, you have a year to use it. There is no charge if you need to change the date & time of your flights. If you change your itinerary you would have to pay $100.

When I designate an award flight the airlines would deduct 25,000 miles from my mileage plus account think about it. It won't cost you a penny. I have designated frequent flyer award tickets to many people thru the yrs. I enjoy doing this. Another way I can help you is a free steak dinner at the "outback". Timewise if feasible, you could join me some evening when our schedule allow.

Please return the key personally to me. I had a birthday recently & I'd like to use some of these dinner certificate.

God Love You,

Fr. John

My New Background

Sebastian Maniscalco's Take on Manly Drinks

That pretty much sums up what I think about that list of drinks.

"The 11 Manliest Cocktails In The World"

11.) Irish Car Bomb
Why is it manly?: What’s manlier than going mano-a-beero with a pint of the world’s thickest stout mixed with a shot of whiskey? Knowing that if you don’t chug it fast enough, you’ll be downing chunks of curdled Bailey’s cream.
Recipe:
3/4 pint Guinness stout
1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish cream
1/2 shot Jameson Irish whiskey

10.) Kentucky Tea
Why is it manly?: You can get shot in the face by an Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms federal agent just for making this cocktail.
Recipe:
1 mason jar halfway full of moonshine
Fill the jar with branch water

9.) Rusty Nail
Why is it manly?: I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but there’s something oddly macho about asking your girlfriend if she would like to sip on your Rusty Nail.
Recipe:
¾ oz. scotch

8.) Snake Bite
Why is it manly?: Anytime a drink is compared to a snake sinking its fangs into you and depositing venom in your bloodstream, chances are, it’s probably pretty stiff. Basically it’s straight up Yukon Jack, which has been known to make balls hairy. The only reason there’s a dash of lime juice is so you won’t get scurvy.
Recipe:
2 oz Yukon Jack liqueur
1 dash Lime juice
¼ oz. Drambuie

7.) Jagerade
Why is it manly?: To be honest, I don’t know if this is manly or just gross. Either way, a man can never get enough electrolytes.
Recipe:
8 oz chilled Gatorade energy drink
4 oz Jagermeister herbal liqueur

6.) Gin and Juice
Why is it manly?: Snoop Dogg likes to drink this when there are bitches in his living room gettin’ it on until six o’clock in the morning, so that has to be worth something. Gin and juice was also the morning cocktail of soldiers and officers in WWII. That’s right, this is what you drank right before you killed a bunch of Nazis. You can’t say that about Malibu and pineapple.
Recipe:
2 1/2 ounces Gin.
1 oz. orange juice.
Equal parts mind on your money and money on your mind

5.) Nuclear Waste
Why is it manly?: This is the only thing Keith Richards drinks now. According to the man himself, “”Whiskey wasn’t agreeing with me anymore. The old body couldn’t take it. Brandy is a killer, and wine is best with food, so somehow I settled on this. Plenty of ice. Lovely.” If it’s good enough for Mr. Richards, it’s good enough for this list.
Recipe:
2 oz. premium vodka
1 oz. Sunkist or any orange soda
Plenty of ice

4.) Tequila Sunrise
Why is it manly?:First off, it’s a breakfast cocktail. And secondly, “2 measures tequila” is short for, “as much tequila as your glass will hold.” It may look a little fruity but it’s about as tropical as a back alley in Tijuana.
Recipe:
2 measures Tequila
Orange juice
2 dashes Grenadine

3.) The Original Sazerac
What makes it manly?: This cocktail takes the classic New Orleans recipe and adds—what else—a nice, healthy addition of Absinthe. Because if huffing rye whiskey doesn’t make you a man, mixing it with mythical psychadelic liquor that tastes like cough syrup will make sure everyone knows you have a penis.
Recipe:
1 tsp Sugar
1-1/2 oz Rye whiskey
1 Dash Herbsaint, Pernod or Absinthe (to coat the glass)
2 dashes Peychaud bitters
2 dashes Angostura bitters

2.) Martini
Why is it manly?: Well, it’s pretty much straight alcohol, with just enough vermouth to remind you that you’re not drinking disinfectant. Plus, James Bond drinks it, and he bangs lots of chicks and beats the crap out of dudes with names that describe a hideous disfigurement they have that also provides them with some sort of physical superiority.
Recipe:
2 1/2 oz Gin
1 1/2 tsp Dry Vermouth
1 Olive
1 Lemon peel twist

1.) Manhattan
Why is it manly: You may say “it’s got a cherry, nothing with a cherry is manly.” Well, nibble on this: It’s notorious for being the favorite drink of the Italian Mafia, who are notorious for killing people. I’m not saying killing somebody makes you a man, but it’s probably not the best idea to call someone who just threw someone off a bridge a “cherry drinking pansy.”
Recipe:
*3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
2 1/2 oz Rye whiskey
dash Angostura bitters
1 Maraschino cherry

No 151; therefore, I have to disagree with this list. Share your thoughts.

Freshman Year of the Rest of Your Life

Most of us are coming up on a year being removed from the college life. I'd like to take a moment to point out a few things I have observed.

1) Parties are definitely not as sweet.

Perhaps its just that college graduates feel like they are too old to party. Perhaps they feel like they should be living a much more sophisticated life by only frequenting high class bars and clubs. Whatever the case, parties just don't have that "college" feel to them.

You can read my post about the Selma Blair party, which was far from eventful, other than us wanna-be collegiates drinking all of the too-cool-for-college kid's beer.

You know parties are going downhill when tables are covered with hordeurves instead of sticky cups in the shape of a diamond.

A party is not a party without at least ONE person passing out, puking in the front yard, or breaking something.

It wasn't a party if you wake up in the morning and there are no red cups to be found, not a single fruit fly is searching for leftovers, and your sandal didn't stick to the hardwood while walking around.

Finally, its not a party if the cops don't show up.



2) Adding Responsibility.

Its not that us college grads really have that much more responsibility than you college seniors out there. Honestly, I probably assume less responsibility than I did last year. However, something happens when it comes to getting that 11th drink when you know you really shouldn't because (a) you won't remember it; (b) you can't afford it; and (c) you have to drive home in 15 minutes. In addition, something changes in regard to general apathy toward one's living quarters. Some of you may be living in trashy apartments, frat houses, or even garages, and this is completely fine as a college senior. In fact, I encourage it. When you graduate, for some reason everyone wants to grow up and have nice furniture, a clean apartment, and "modern art"; otherwise known as the Ikea $40 special.

Personally, I want to go back to homemade stadium seating, spray-painted siding, and kegs laying around the property.



Wouldn't this be a MUCH better beer pong table?


3) Anti-metabolism.

Many of my friends in undergrad were athletes or at least favored working out everyday over putting on the freshman 15. The post college freshman year weight gain is MUCH harder to prevent. This results in less will to eat, which results in less ordering of pizza and the "ohh why not get a six-pack of blue moon with it" attitude. Now, its all about the lean protein, veggies(ugh), and LITE beer. Wow. What a fucking joke. I'm trying to look like this...




4) Post-College Girls are not as...fun?

I recently posted about a particular night of strip flip cup. If I were to ask my closest 4 friends that are girls to do the same today, I would probably stand about a 4% chance of an equal result. Reason being? Possibly a combination of Ikea sophistication, wine/cheese party atmosphere that doesn't come close to the standard beer pong/flip cup take your clothes off feel, and girl-fear of exposing that extra freshman-year-after-graduating-fifteen that we're all piling on to stay warm this winter (and summer).



5) Conclusion.

Extend your collegiate stay. I know numerous people that are on 5 and even 6 year plans to finish college. My youngest brother is preparing to graduate high school in a few short weeks and I would do ANYTHING to switch shoes with him (and age, no, I'm not trying to pick up 18s. Ok, yes I am). Couldn't you just enroll in school and take absolutely every class offered, and acquire every degree possible, until you're 80 and ready to retire? Sure, you will NEVER be able to pay off the loans, but at least you got trashed off some private bank hoping to rape you in interest over the next 20 years.

Next Week: Chuggin Brew as an Extreme Sport

Nothing more annoying than finals week. There are only a few things worth noting and one was just mentioned: slugging coffee.

Never in my college career did I ever blow off a final completely, but there was a time when I went to a final slightly drunk, with a Chic-fil-a cup full of jack/coke. Needless to say I only dropped from an A to an A- after the test.

So what is the greatest thing to happen during finals week? Well, naturally, the amount of time spent in the library reading, reviewing, and procrastinating results in a lot less consumption of alcohol. Taking off 3 solid weeks of drinking means your tolerance is dropping to unforeseen levels, which makes the finals after party THAT MUCH SWEETER!

Conclusion: Next Thursday I will be a complete wreck after spending $20 max and consuming five drinks.

The Drunk Top 40 - Peanut Butter

Peanut Butter!
I Fucking love you!
Peanut Butter for Breakfast!
Taste so Fucking Great!
Peanut Butter for Lunch!
Better not be late!
Peanut Butter for Dinner!
Tastes so Fucking sick!
If you don’t like it you can suck my Fucking dick!

Peanut Butter!
To Everyone that loves Peanut Butter!
Come over for a Sesh!
We’re Gonna make some Jaffles!
Peanut Butter is the Best!

Peanut Butter!
We’re Gonna OD on PB tonight!
We’re Gonna OD on PB tonight!
We’re Gonna OD on PB tonight!
We’re Gonna OD on PB tonight!
OD on PB!
OD on PB!
Bring your Best Appetite!
Cause We’re Gonna OD on Mother Fucking PB tonight!

Peanut Butter!
I Fucking love you!
Peanut Butter for Breakfast!
Taste so Fucking Great!
Peanut Butter for Lunch!
Better not be late!
Peanut Butter for Dinner!
Tastes so Fucking sick!
If you don’t like it you can suck my Fucking dick!

We’re eating Peanut Butter Left n Right!
Ain’t Gonna stop Day or Night!
If your Looking for a Peanut Butter Injection!
You’ll Find us in the VIP Section!

Peanut Butter!
Creamy is Fucking Good!
Crunchy is Fucking Trippy!
Natural is Fucking Out of Control!

Peanut Butter!
I Fucking love you!
Peanut Butter for Breakfast!
Taste so Fucking great!
Peanut Butter for Lunch!
Better not be late!
Peanut Butter for Dinner!
Tastes so Fucking sick!
If you don’t like it you can suck my Fucking dick!


Peanut Butter!
I Fucking love you!

Asshole Mario 2 Stage 4

The title says it all. The person who made it wanted to create a game that his friend wouldn't be able to beat. The game itself is great, but so is the person playing it.

The Good Ole' Days

Ahhh yes.  The wonders of college.  Give girls the worst tasting beer in America, combined with a little bit of peer-pressure, and all of a sudden we are playing Strip Flip Cup.  I really miss days like this.

The Good Ole' Days

 

There's really nothing better than sitting around one afternoon with nothing better to do then convince all your friends to enter a milk-chugging contest. In case you aren't familiar, the popular challenge is for someone to finish off a gallon of milk in under an hour without throwing up. Since no one knew whether the milk had to be skim, 1% or 2%, each of the competitors chose their own weapon. Surprisingly, the person who chose 1% (no one picked whole) was able to take down the entire gallon in a little over 55 minutes. The champ held the milk down until an hour and 15 minutes had passed, and then puked to be more comfortable.

Best thing about the whole afternoon? It was my idea, and I didn't participate! Suckers.

My Movie.

[Pay Attention to Sub Titles]

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.php?module=see&lang=uk&code=c5687efd5c0f1e96d2355045ef8151ba

The Invisible Man of Graffiti Art.

"Banksy" is a well-known pseudo-anonymous English graffiti artist. Banksy's real name is unknown, but he was born in 1974 and raised in Bristol, England. He trained as a butcher, but became involved in graffiti during the great Bristol aerosol boom of the late 1980s. Banksy's parents think their son is a painter and decorator.

His artworks are often-satirical pieces of art that encompass topics such as politics, culture, and ethics. His vandalism, which combines graffiti writing with a distinctive stenciling technique similar to Blek le Rat, who began in 1981 in Paris to work with stencils. His art has appeared in cities all around the world. Banksy's work was borne out of the larger Bristol underground scene which involved collaborations between artists and musicians.

Banksy does not sell photos of street graffiti or mount exhibitions of screen prints in commercial galleries.

This shit is off the wall! Literally.

Check out his website.

http://www.banksy.co.uk/

What does Joe Namath Drink?

I cannot believe I have never seen this video. This is one of the funniest drunk celebrity vids I have seen in my life.



I would have likely been doing the same thing...trying to answer a question without making any sense, followed by asking that girl (no matter what she looked like or any other factors) if I could kiss her.