Father John's Last Letter: I hope

Michael & Ryan:

Again my apologies for offending you. Life is short. It's not healthy to be at odds with anybody.

God Love You!

Fr. John Fabian

The Last of Father John???

Welp. I think this is it.

We're in the weight room tonight and Father John comes in, then leaves. A moment later he comes back in and approaches Ryan, saying he'd like to speak with him still. Ryan responded that he didn't think it was a good idea. As he was still trying to convince Ryan, I spoke up and told him it ALSO wasn't a good idea for him to be looking at us from the balcony with binoculars. He left.

Two minutes later he came back into the gym and got on the bike.

I finished lifting about ten minutes later and we went into the aerobic room. I immediately said to him, "I don't appreciate you looking at me with binoculars from your balcony."

He immediately got off the bike and began asking what I was talking about. He said he was looking at "all the people" at the "airplanes" and at the "buildings." The truth is, he was only looking at us, and was hiding behind furniture in doing so.

It continued, with me reminding him of the past letters, and the other prior pool incidents and that I didn't appreciate those either.

He said when we first met, almost a year ago, Ryan and I were so hospitable. We were the nicest people he had met in his 49 years of being a priest. He suggested that us finding out he was a priest changed everything. The fact is, we knew from the get-go that he was. It was almost the first thing he told us, other than his name.

He asked if we could be friends.

I responded no.

He said it was part of my Christian belief that we be friends.

I responded no.

He asked what my Father would think. I responded he already knew I didn't approve of you, and he knows not only of the letters but the weirdness of it all. Finally, I told him I was reporting him to the building manager. He asked one last time if we could be friends, and I quickly told him no and walked out.

I am expecting a letter asking for our friendship in 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...

Hey Father John, How are ya??? (9)

Today could have been the most creepy yet.

I was headed to the pool around 3pm, and when I exited the elevator I saw none other than Father John. Of course I wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes, and only had a towel in my hand. I predicted that he would either: 1) be on the balcony in less than 5 minutes; 2) be at the pool in 10 minutes. Prediction number 1 was right on the money. Not more than 5 minutes after I set up my towel and sprawled out, did I notice a stir on his balcony. Today was slightly different, however. He was attempting to HIDE. Creeping around the corners, barely looking over his desk, hiding behind the palm tree that ascends in front of his view.

After about 10 minutes of him creeping around, I noticed a shiny light leaving his balcony. I looked up to see two of the biggest lens of a set of binoculars. We were being scoped by binocular from 5 stories up.

Puking in my mouth, with the door double locked...

Happy 4th of July

After taking two months off from partying, the 4th seemed like a perfect time to pick up the slack. Ok, I didn't take 2 months off, I've just been so busy partying it hasn't been possible to make posts of any kind.

G-man came up on Wednesday night and immediately began shredding a case of Caguama. About 2 hours later a hookah entered the mix and the G-man became paralyzed on the couch. The next night was nearly the same, but included a keg of Dos Equis and ended with the remaining "Cuags" and a hookah. A puke sesh would soon follow off the porch.

Friday was the 4th, and it was a miracle the booze even stayed down. Drinking was so difficult, even by 9pm, that we missed the first 10 minutes of the fireworks show. The Yardie was soon calling, where we stayed for the remainder of the night. 3 yards of beer later our server Sophia was listening to the drunk bs that was spewing out of our mouths. Why not tell her to break up with her boyfriend? I think she made her mind up after I asked her a 3rd time where she lived. Idiot.

G-Man, blacked and all, prepared a nasty dish of rice and beans, smothered in so much hot sauce that my butt is still hurting. 2 full carrots and a bowl of rice/beans was enough to put us both in serious coma's, leaving G-man face down and myself in serious pain.

The next morning G-man admitted and found proof of losing the bowl off our balcony somewhere around 330am. That makes two puke sesh's in 3 nights. Not bad.

The remainder of the weekend was consuming as many burritos as possible without getting sick. Needless to say, this summer is proving to be everything I've expected from San Diego and more.

Next big party: the return of Jonesy and a visit from the female version of Tucker Max.

Australian fined for buckling in beer, not child.

DARWIN, Australia — An Australian man has been fined after buckling in a case of beer with a seat belt but leaving a 5-year-old child to sit on the car’s floor, police said today.

Constable Wayne Burnett said he was “shocked and appalled” when he pulled over the unregistered car Friday in the central Australian town of Alice Springs.

The 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car’s floor.

“The child was sitting in the lump in the center, unrestrained,” Burnett told reporters Tuesday.

“I haven’t ever seen something like this before,” he said. “This is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a child.”

The driver was fined 750 Australian dollars — about $710 — for driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and for failing to ensure a child was wearing a safety belt. Go OZ!

INSTANT PARTY!

Basically, it is exactly what it sounds like; a button that instantly launches a party. When pressed, the blinds to my apartment close, the kitchen, hallway, dining room, and living room lights dim, the stereo starts blasting Haddaway - What is Love, black lights turn on, laser lights start moving to the music, a strobe light goes on, and the fog machine starts up. With another press of the button, the party is gone as easily as it started. It may not be the most hi-tech thing in the world, but people sure as hell love it when they come over.

Check out the videos below for this button put to use by some MIT students... CATCH A BUZZ.

Real American Hero

I have a drinking problem and apparently so does Bill Bramanti. Anyway, Bill Bramanti loves PBR so much he had a coffin made that resembles a can of the stuff. He's using it as a cooler until he dies. Bill Bramanti is a Real American Hero and I suggest he replace that clown Hamilton on the $10 bill.

AP signing off and crackin' a cold one.

Wow. No words...

Haha. I don't even know what to say after seeing this video. Imagine the amount of food/drink this man could consume.

Pizza Hut Pastas

Gorge til I puke. Just thought I'd share my dinner with all of you. This tray of pizza hut pasta is supposed to feed 4, and it comes with 5 breadsticks for $12. Sounds like a pretty good deal. We'll let you know.

Tonight is a party at L's house. L is friends with the hottest girls on the planet. Every one of them I would eat their butt for free. Line them up. I'm starved.

L told us to come with booze, so after pizza hut is a run to Ralph's to get a keg of whatever they got on hand. Party? Who said anything bout no fuckin party?

Happy Weekend.

How to start a record company

Step 1 Read the article here

Step 2 Cash enormous check

Joey's Voicemail Message

The Pens play today at 7p (EST) which really sucks. I need someone to drink with at the bar so I don't look like a full-blown. So I called my Real World pal Joey and I got his voicemail:

"You have reached Joey. Unfortunately, I am too blacked out to answer
my phone at this time. Please leave your name and number and I'll call
you as soon as I'm sober. It may be a full week. Thanks."

For Tom: David Blaine Breaks World Record on Oprah

My friend asked me to record this while he was busy at work. I don't work. I sit on the couch all day and jerk off my 1 inch cock. So, here you go, Tom.

So Tom, when are you gonna go and do something sweet like hold your breath for 17 minutes? I know you at least have a rebuttal to this. Lets have it...

Dumb Hillary

You want to run a country and you can't figure out a coffee machine? HAHA. Dumb.

The Happiest Place on Earth.

As I venture to California again this summer, I am definitely putting Disneyland on my agenda. Roller coasters and teenage boobs. What's not love about the "Happiest Place on Earth"?

The Real World Hollywood - Joey

This is the first season I've actually attempted to follow. If you haven't seen it yet, Joey is this meat head character that reminds me of the "My New Haircut" type. Early on, there are clips where he is about to admit a problem, but nothing really comes out. I was hoping it would be him admitting using steroids, but it was WAY better...

Joey has a drinking problem.

Probably the best line I've ever heard is "I WAS NOT LIKE THIS BEFORE I MOVED INTO THIS HOUSE!" Unfortunately, I cannot find it on youtube, but the clip posted gives you a taste of what he's like. The arm-wrestling clip, also on the tube, shows why I thought he was a roider. RAAAGE.

Thoughts, anyone? I predict Joey gets arrested when he gets in a fight outside of a club.

Hey Father John, how are ya??? (8)

Here he is...the man...the myth...the priest.